In episode 356, host Mike Petrusky speaks with Jess Baker, chartered psychologist, associate fellow of the British Psychological Society, and author of “The Super-Helper Syndrome: A Survival Guide for Compassionate People.” They cover why Baker believes empathy in the workplace is often misunderstood and the difference between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. Baker explains how compassionate leadership involves both empathy and taking action to relieve the suffering of others, which leads to better team performance and a more inclusive environment. Change management in the workplace should involve asking employees about their needs and how they would design their workspaces to optimize their well-being and productivity, but Baker advises asking more questions. Often, the first answer doesn’t reveal a person’s true needs or feelings.
Agenda
- Role of empathy and compassion in the workplace
- Importance of promoting empathetic people to leadership roles
- Practical advice for workplace innovation and change management
What you need to know: Workplace takeaways
Takeaway 1: Empathy and compassion are critical for effective leadership, but not everyone can or will become passionate
Not everyone can learn to be a compassionate leader. “A person must choose to be compassionate. That person has to say, I want to be able to help others better. And honestly, not very many people say that,” she explains. So, organizations must identify and nurture empathic individuals who already exist within their ranks.
What she wants to say to them: “Actually, Organization X, if you have a closer look at your internal infrastructure, if you have a look at all the people working in your organization, you’ve probably got empathic people in your organization who haven’t yet made it to a leadership role.
“You have the capacity to have more compassionate leadership, but you don’t have to train everyone. What you need to do is find empathic people in your organization who aren’t yet in leadership roles.”
Takeaway 2: Empathy involves asking deeper questions to understand another’s true needs
Baker explains how empathy should go beyond just recognizing others’ emotions with a simple question. “I wouldn’t just take the first answer as their real answer, because often we don’t know what we really want. We don’t know what really would serve us. And often our first answer isn’t the honest truth,” she says.
Her suggestions for follow-up questions: “Why is that?” Or drawing on their answer, “Why do you think that is?”
Takeaway 3: “Belonging” is a key factor in creating a thriving workplace environment
“One of the things that we’re moving towards now in an emotional and psychological way is we’re trying to help employees or the workforce, not just feel like they are at work, but that they belong there,” Baker says.
She then describes belonging as a sense of walking into a space and feeling well, even if it is not a home-like environment. “It’s feeling as though you’re not necessarily at home, you’re not just necessarily going to kick off your shoes and kind of relax with a packet of crisps on your belly and a beer, but feel well and be at your best,” she explains.
She also says achieving this sense of belonging is complex and requires a more nuanced approach. “You’re probably not going get all the people to feel like that, right? So, we have to be realistic as well,” she cautions.
Takeaway 4: Empathy-powered leadership and “super helpers” in the workplace
It’s also possible to try to help too much. “The super helper is this newly coined phrase that came to me while I was coaching so many people who would say, ‘I’m so focused on other people in my team and helping them get up the career ladder. I’ve stopped focusing on my own needs and my own career progression,’” she says. This behavior can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and being exploited by others, Baker warns.
She then talks about the parts of her book that provide solutions, including strategies for taming the inner critic, setting boundaries, and promoting oneself in an authentic way. By addressing the super helper syndrome, organizations can foster healthier and more balanced leadership practices, she says.
Insights surfaced- Empathy in the workplace is crucial for understanding employees’ needs and fostering a positive work environment.
Workplace management insights
- Being an empathetic leader involves not only cognitive empathy (understanding someone’s feelings) but also emotional empathy (sharing those feelings).
- Compassionate leadership can lead to better personal and team performance, as well as a more inclusive and conflict-managed workplace.
- Organizations often overlook empathetic individuals for leadership roles due to their quiet nature and the preference for Type A personalities.
- Empathy-powered leadership focuses on identifying and nurturing empathetic individuals who have the potential to lead, rather than training everyone to be more compassionate.
- Workplaces should aim to create a sense of belonging, where employees feel they can be their best selves.
- The concept of “super helper syndrome” refers to individuals who overhelp to the detriment of their own well-being, often due to an irrational belief that they have no needs.
Do a deep dive into all Workplace Innovator podcast episodes, explore the Empathy-Powered Leaders website for a unique development journey, and take a free quiz about Dynamic Helper Archetypes.
